Talk More about the festival of Love!
Of Love, hilarity and mild inconveniences. And some deep thoughts.
Hey there!
Happy Valentine’s day! The world keeps moving at a crazy speed. But days like these, as superficial as they might be, serve as a good reminder to slow down, take a look around and appreciate everyone who lets you be a little more ‘you’.
With that, let me take a moment to welcome you all to Talk More v2.0, the reinvigorated initiative of the weekly newsletter - that is a little more ‘us’. So, what is Talk More all about? In short, Talk More is about all the things Kay and I feel deserve a little bit more talking about. They can be everything from global issues, deep-rooted societal prejudices to the little relatable inconveniences we face in life. And, some hilarious comics drawn and served by Kay. Seriously, that alone makes checking this space out worth it. Plus, some great recommendations if you want to check out a new book, show or movie.
There is a lot more to say. But I believe in the art of ‘show, not tell’, and so, welcome to this week’s Talk More.
Silver Screen, White Paper: Recommendations
Name of the Show: The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window
Season: 1 (8 episodes)
Episode length: 24 mins
Genre: Mystery, Parody
Where to watch: Netflix
You should be watching it for: Kristen Bell’s alcoholism
Rating: 🍿🍿🍿🍿
Rarely comes a series that does parody so well that you actually mistake it for being bad. That was me while watching the show. If the name does not make it clear, it is a satire on the entire genre of mystery films like The Girl on the Train and The Woman in the Window, where a girl is a witness to a horrible crime and then must attempt to convince everyone of it, while simultaneously solving it.
But the parody is so subtle, you would not be blamed for missing it out on certain points. Without giving any spoilers, this is really smart storytelling that tries to expose all the plot holes of the genre it pokes fun at. It is funny without falling flat and the story is actually intriguing enough to keep you going till the end.
Name of the Book: Beloved
Pages: 287
Author: Toni Morrison
You should be reading it for: Dead Baby Ghost
Rating: 🐛🐛🐛🐛
This is a supernatural story about a baby ghost that haunts an African-American family of former ‘slaves’. When the baby girl died her mother was poor and could only have the word ‘Beloved’ carved on her grave. The ghost stands as a metaphor for the past of this racial community that was subject to slavery and atrocities. The story goes on to show how the protagonists live with the ghost. It is an exceptional work by Morrison and probably the only story that I like this genre in. At times, it gets too metaphorical, and though I’m not a fan of that, it is intentional. So Morrison knew what she was doing. It also gets a bit too heavy in places. But if you are up for a fictious story to really understand the psychological effect of The Slave Trade on individuals, this is your go to! It will make you feel. Brownie points for how Morrison humanizes the issue.
The Lead: Feature Story
It’s Covid-tine’s day!
The third anniversary of Covid-tine’s day tells us how Love is a delicate balance of yin and yang
I would have begun with an apology for bastardizing the festival of love with the biggest pandemic our generation has seen if it was not the third Valentine’s day in a row that was shrouded by the dark clouds of Covid-19. It’s been a long time, and while we have not realized it entirely, it has changed our lives — including how we understand love. But perhaps this was a necessary lesson for us.
The biggest collective regret for humans since we first got off trees and started walking on two feet has been that we do not get to spend enough time with our loved one’s. Young couples are stuck with education and household restrictions; older couples are trapped by their jobs. In a nutshell, nobody has enough time for each other. But Covid-19 changed it all. But to an effect, we could not have previously guessed.
After the sheer confusion, panic and fear subsided once the nationwide lockdowns were first declared on March 24, 2020, there were two distinct yet simultaneous reactions to it. First was a sense of joy at being able to spend more time with family and relaxing at home. And second, a sense of dread at spending more time with family and not being able to go out. And it got only more confusing as time passed in the ‘stay-at-home’ culture.
According to a report by the Times of India published in January 2021, lawyers working in family courts in Visakhapatnam claim an increase of 30-40 per cent in petitions seeking a divorce. And it was not a one-off case either. In April of the same year, The Hindu published a feature piece where counsellors reported an increase of up to 50% in clients who revealed problems in marriage and relationships. It was not even an India-specific issue. BBC cited in December 2020 that there was a 122% increase in divorce applications in that year between July and October.
Drawing a simplistic conclusion is not possible, given many of these relationships could have been strenuous since the beginning or there could be other preexisting complications in the relationship that were worsened with the situation. But one thing is certain — a big factor at play here is proximity.
While at one end, too much proximity was playing its role in breaking apart lovebirds, the lack of it was also not much help either. The pandemic, which kept some couples locked inside a house, also physically separated many. With social distancing guidelines, lockdown restrictions and the fear of the pandemic, lovers from even the same neighborhood suddenly found themselves in a state of a long-distance relationship. And it turns out most were not ready for it. The Straits Times stated in an article published on July 31, 2021, that “after almost 1½ years of seclusion, heightened anxiety and more time to re-evaluate their priorities” many couples were calling it quits.
While it might seem that Covid-19 finally managed to break the emotion of love for humans, it merely exposed a notion that has been explicitly explained in psychology textbooks and therapy sessions. Being either too close or too distant affects relationships in the same adverse way. While the former results in resentment due to lack of individuality, the latter causes discontent due to lack of connection. And the strange situation of the pandemic managed to highlight both at the same time.
But since it is Valentine’s day, we cannot just look at the ugly side of love. For love finds a way. There were plenty of positive developments during the pandemic as well. Those who were not lucky enough to spend time with each other suddenly became tech-savvy in an attempt to spend time with their loved ones. Within a fortnight, many of us were well versed in Zoom calls, Netflix Party (now known as Tele Party) and a host of virtual games including Ludo King. While a candle-light dinner became a distant memory, staying on long phone and video calls and often falling asleep while on the call became familiar.
On the other hand, access to the proximity was not always detrimental. Take this survey for instance. Very Well Mind, a mental health website, surveyed 1200 participants about dating and cohabitating during the pandemic and found out that 27% of respondents claimed that their relationship improved as a result of the proximity. The number is significant as exactly similar 27% claimed that proximity affected their relationship negatively, while 46% claimed that there was not really a significant difference.
Relationship as we know it has been lost somewhere behind N95 masks and a frenzied life that has either rammed us in isolated corners craving for love or cramped us so tightly against each other that love has begun suffocating us. So, on this third anniversary of Covid-tines day, it is important to remember what love is really all about. It is about all the moments you spend with your loved ones, and the moments you spend away missing them. For love would really not be love if either piece of the yin or yang was missing.
Proximity, or lack of it, we hope you find the right balance with your partner this Covid-tines day!
Whine & Dine: Half-baked Opinions
Weird flex but not okay.
You know what I hate the most? A little more than rich people pursuing their dreams with little to no ease? Yeah, when people go around bragging about all the sacrifices their partners make for their happiness!
“Oh my god, Shannon totally blew up her attendance records because she stays with me when I’m having a bad dayyyy! I couldn’t believe she did that for me!”
“You know, Aarav gave up on his guitar lessons to do Zumba with me instead? He just plays at home now. So sweet!”
“Sky just let me express myself and even be a bit mean to him because I was really suffering that day - though he was, too…” (He really did, though. What a sweetheart!)
And yes, all of these things are super generous of them and deserve acknowledgement. They show love, and it’s great that they think you are worth it but… here is my issue. Why do you fucking got to be proud of it and wear it on your sleeve like a badge? Yep, when we hear that story we all are going “awww ^-^” but behind that face we are taking mental notes of how selfish you are, bro. It should hurt you and enrage you that your partner decided to take pain on your behalf and YOU FUCKING LET IT HAPPEN BECAUSE IT VALIDATED YOU? Seriously, get therapy.
They deserve more than an anecdote for the sacrifice they made for you. Maybe sometimes encourage them to go to work or study even if you're low? Maybe look for home guitar lessons? Maybe ask them about how they felt when you were done expressing?
Please don’t talk about it as just another thing they do that makes you happy? A lot of people encourage these stories and the behavior as a marker of love. And while it is, it should be looked at as a bittersweet experience in which you are happy enough to have someone endure pain for you but sad that they are hurting in the first place. DON’T BRAG ABOUT IT, YOU FOOL! It’s not “cute”, it just means you should do better for them!
Write-Brained: Poetry
The Last Supper
Two tiny plates rest on my wall Empty Bright leaves run across them With a handful of colours splashed over the pale ceramic Filled And he who runs out in the streets Colourful shorts in grey pixie dust with empty pockets and a heart filled with hunger peaks through my window Views the wall Feels familiar And leaves.
Thank you so much if you made it through till here! We will continue to talk about something old, something new, something purple, something blue. After all, there’s still so much more left to say about this new look right. And about the pandemic that is more than a couple of years old but still feels new enough to affect us. Stay Tuned!